You Need to Stop Being Life’s B*tch

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You Need to Stop Being Life’s B*tch

You probably haven’t heard of Ronald Read. Ron was a simple, old man who worked as a janitor earning a modest living. Every morning, the staff at a local hospital diner would see him come in and sit down at the same stool every day to order the same meal; a cup of black coffee and an English muffin with peanut butter spread.

One morning, a patron in the diner had noticed this elderly man in his janitor’s uniform and took pity on him. Clearly, this old man had very modest means and was forced to work into his old age to get by, so the patron paid for Ron’s meal as a gesture of kindness and left.

Recently, Ron passed away at the age of 92. But after he died, his friends and family discovered something that took them all by surprise. Ronald Reed, the humble old janitor, had left behind a personal fortune worth 8 million dollars, most of which he had bequeathed to the local hospital he ate breakfast in every day.

How did he amass such a fortune? It wasn’t because he had won the lottery, it wasn’t something he’d inherited, and it wasn’t because he bought Bitcoin when it was worth a fraction of a penny. He simply lived below his means, saved money and invested. That’s it.

How many times have you heard that it’s hard to get by these days? Or that greedy politicians and corporations have rigged the system to make it impossible for the little guy to amass any significant share of wealth?

Although there’s some truth to these sentiments, it’s mostly noise. Ron is proof that we don’t have to be victims of circumstance. He took responsibility for his life and lived according to his values. He was passionate about making a difference in people’s lives after he died, and he made that dream come true.

Basically, Ron wasn’t a b*tch. He owned his life.

Life Isn’t Fair.

Yes , life isn’t fair. bad things happen to good people, some are born into extreme wealth and some are born into poverty. The world can be an unfair place, but in a lot of ways things have never been better. Extreme poverty, violence & war are all at the lowest levels in human history.

Here in the West, the picture could hardly be more bright. We are the richest and most prosperous we’ve ever been, and technology has allowed for far more opportunity than our parents and grandparents could have ever dreamt possible.

One would think that with so much opportunity at our fingertips that we’d feel grateful to be living in such an incredible time. But despite all evidence to the contrary, we act like the sky is falling every twenty minutes.

Be a Victim of Circumstance or Own Your Life.

Taking responsibility for your life doesn’t mean that you’re to blame for circumstances outside of your control. When I talk about responsibility, I’m not conflating it with blame. If someone breaks in to your house and steals all your belongings, you aren’t to blame for that, but you are responsible for dealing with it.

If you put the responsibility on someone else to deal with it, you’ll be waiting a very long time for a new TV to show up in your living room.

“With great responsibility comes great power.” –
Mark Manson

When you take responsibility for your life, you own your life, because you get to make a choice about what happens next. You can’t control everything that happens, but the more you take responsibility for your life, the more likely you are to steer it in a direction that gives you greater happiness and fulfillment.

Don’t like your job? Don’t like the fact that you’re always broke? Don’t like the way your manipulative girlfriend treats you? Make yourself a cup of tea, wash the sand out of your vagina, and sit down and work out a plan to change your situation.

The point I’m trying to make is that you have options. You have choices. You can choose to do something today, however small, to make your life better. A good poker player knows that he can’t choose the hand he’s dealt, but he can still win the game with a lousy hand.

The MAN REMADE Guide to Being A Dead-Set Loser.

Okay, so you don’t buy all this responsibility baloney? That’s fine. If you prefer the simplicity of blaming others for your problems, I won’t try to convince you otherwise. For you, dear reader, I’ve prepared this simple guide for life, and the good news is that most of these steps require absolutely zero effort to implement.

No more discomfort, no more challenging situations, and no more worrying about improving your life and making something better of yourself.

Step 1: Complain About Your Problems.

The first step to being an absolute, dead-set loser is to recognise that none of the problems in your life are your fault, and therefore not your responsibility to deal with. The important thing to remember about executing this first step, is to make sure that not only do you complain about your problems, but that you also do absolutely nothing about them.

They’re not your fault, so you shouldn’t have to take responsibility for them, right?

PRO TIP: Okay, so now that you’ve proclaimed loudly and proudly how dissatisfied you are with every major and minor problem in your life, make sure that you reward your efforts by binge-watching every season of The Office again for the 3rd time.

Step 2: Do Everything Exactly The Same As You’ve Always Done.

Albert Einstein said that the definition of insanity was “doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results.”

But Einstein was a German. And do you know who else was a German? That’s right; Hitler! You wouldn’t take advice from Hitler, would you? I didn’t think so, so what the hell would Einstein know?

Step 2 is probably the easiest out of all the steps to implement, because all that it requires you to do is exactly what you did yesterday… And the day before… And the day before that… Easy!

PRO TIP: While you do the exact same thing you did yesterday, be sure to complain about it publicly on Facebook and try to earn as many sad faces as possible in the next 24 hours.

Step 3: Blame Trump/Obama.

Make a colourful placard, and write something profound on it, like; “impeach Drumpf, lol!” or “THeY tooK OuR jObS!” Sprinkle your favourite glitter on it and join a protest march where you can put your virtue on display for the rest of the world to see.

What’s important about executing this step is that you will start to feel really, really good about yourself. You will feel righteous in the knowledge that if only everyone thought the same way you do, the world would be a much better place and you’d finally be able to start achieving your goals and getting ahead in life.

PRO TIP: Marching can be dehydrating, don’t forget to pack a bottle of premium soy milk before you join your brave comrades.

Step 4: Never Ask For help or Advice.

The fourth step to guaranteeing that you’ll be a dead-set loser, is to never ask for help or advice. Asking someone for help or advice is admitting to yourself that you always had a capacity to change your life by learning from the example of others.

But since you DON’T have the capacity to change, if you asked someone for advice this would cause an inner conflict. A conflict of such epic proportions that you would likely collapse into a blubbering heap on the floor in a puddle of your own urine.

PRO TIP: However tempted you are, absolutely DO NOT book in a free coaching session with myself at this link right here. If you do, you’ll ruin everything and probably end up learning how to completely change your life for the better. So Don’t click this link right here, this one right here, don’t do it!

Step 5: Avoid Failure At All Costs, And Never Admit That You Made A Mistake.

Now this step may seem counter-intuitive, but failing at something or admitting to yourself that you made a mistake is actually a core component of being a WINNER! Sounds crazy I know, but failing is a part of growth.

But failure also makes you feel bad. It can make you feel defeated. You’ve already accepted the fact that it’s too difficult to change your life, so the best way to guarantee that you’ll avoid all that unpleasantness is to avoid trying all together.

If you never try, you’ll never have to face the possibility of making a mistake, and you’ll never have to confront that part of yourself that’s scared about what other people think of you.

PRO TIP: Avoiding failure is actually quite difficult. You risk making a mistake just by walking out of the house, best thing to do is just stay in bed for the rest of the day. You’re guaranteed to succeed at being a loser if you do that at least!

Step 6: Recognise That You Are Special.

Remember when your parents asked you what you wanted to be when you grow up? You probably wanted to be an astronaut, or a scientist, or an adventurer, and your parents told you that you could do whatever you set your mind to, because you were special.

Deep down you’ve always known this to be true, you were destined for great things by the mere fact of having been born, so it’s important to set your expectations about yourself really, really high. Destiny has special plans for you, it’s just a matter of time before your supermodel girlfriend shows up at your front door with the keys to your new Lamborghini in one hand and a winning Powerball ticket in the other.

PRO TIP: If it’s been a few years and you’re perfect life still hasn’t fallen out of the sky, all you have to do is visualise it more intensely. Make a vision board of everything you want in life, then go back to watching The Office and simply wait.

How to Stop Being Life’s B*tch.

Okay, so my guide on how to be a dead-set loser obviously isn’t meant to be taken seriously (just in case you actually needed that pointed out to you). But I’m being provocative for a reason, and that’s to show just how silly some of the ideas we believe actually are. As I mentioned earlier, no one is going to take responsibility for your life but you.

You have the choice to make your life better, you have the choice to improve your circumstances and build the kind of life that gives you meaning.

You can completely remake your life just by taking small steps today that lead to bigger accomplishments tomorrow. It may be challenging and it may take time, but if you can adjust your perspective, the time it takes won’t matter. The point is to live according to your values in pursuit of your goals, not necessarily in just achieving the goals themselves.

If I could give you some small pieces of advice on how to live your life congruently with your values, the 4 main pieces of advice I’d give are these;

1. Recognise That You Are Imperfect.

You are never going to achieve perfection. There’s never going to be a perfect time to start, and even if you achieve everything you ever wanted you will never be without problems or challenges.

Embrace your current challenges and aim to find better challenges to face. Although you will continue to stumble from time to time, you will become the kind of man that can rise to any challenge on the way to your dreams.

2. Be Humble, Because You Aren’t Special.

You aren’t special and destiny doesn’t have any plans for you. Your life is yours, not something that is cosmically determined.

One of the most liberating things I came to realise is that the universe doesn’t care about me, but I never needed it to care about me in the first place. All that matters in life is that you live it the best way that you can and you share your happiness with the people you care about.

3. Find Greater Satisfaction in Simpler Things.

The cause of most of your pain and suffering is dissatisfaction with what you have, or rather what you believe you DON’T have.

Unless you can find your own happiness regardless of what you possess, you will never have enough to fill that void. Learn to find greater satisfaction for the simpler things in life, then you can work out how to make your life even better.

4. Dream Big, Just Make Sure Your Dreams Are Your Own.

It’s okay to have big dreams, it’s okay to have grand goals. Just ask yourself why you want those things. Are you pursuing those things because you genuinely want them or are you pursuing them because you want to impress others, impress your parents or impress women?

You can spend your life chasing a dream that is genuinely your own, or you can spend your life chasing ghosts. Figure out what you really want in life.

This will always be your responsibility to figure out, but that doesn’t mean you have to figure it out on your own.

Image Credits:
* Featured Image
* Photo by Grégoire Hervé-Bazin on Unsplash
* Photo by mark glancy from Pexels

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